THE AVENGERS SUMMARY: PART 1

• Nick Fury: We have this unstable thing called the Baccarat or whatever and you can tell it has unlimited energy because it GLOWS
• Loki: Hey guys I'm back did you miss me
• Hawkeye: I did a little
• Loki: K let's see what this spear or whatever does
• Spear or whatever: BAZAM MOTHERFUCKERS
• Loki: Right I'll be taking your Baccarat your scientist guy and your sexiest agent
• Nick Fury: Hey so we need to do that Avenger thing now
• Agent Coulson: That might take a really long time
• Nick Fury: Whatever do it in montage
• Bruce Banner: I'm the cuddliest version of the Hulk
• Capt. Amuricur: Check out my sweet ass
• Black Widow: Check out my boobs they're the only one's you'll see in this movie
• Iron Man: When I made that suit I had no idea it would eventually be a cockblock
• Hawkeye: I'm evil rn bbl
• Thor: I'm in Asgard atm
• Agent Coulson: Hey Captain so I may have caressed you while you were chillin' in a chunk of ice also I designed a costume for you do you want to be friends can I take a picture with you can I touch your abs seriously just lift your shirt for a second so I can touch them
• Loki: I don't always dress like a human to be inconspicuous but when I do I immediately attack a German official in the middle of a party
• Capt. Amuricur: We interrupt this program to bring you AMERICA
• Iron Man: Sup Captain
• Everyone: GAAAAAAAAAY
• LATER, IN A PLANE
• Thor: BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOhug
• Loki: Thor technically brohug doesn't apply because we're not even related
• Thor: You'll always be my brother, Loki-chan. Now allow me to look deep into your eyes and invade your intimate personal space with my beard
• Everyone: GAAAAAAAAAAY
• Iron Man: IRON GLOMP
• Thor: You wanna go motherfucker let's break the forest
• Smokey the Bear: But Thor only you can prevent forest fires
• Capt. Amuricur: GUYS STAWP IT
• Loki: Eatspopcorn.gif
• BACK AT THE FLOATING CASTLE LEGION OF DOOM
• Bruce Banner: Sup
• Iron Man: Hey I just met you and this is crazy but here's my number so call me maybe
• Everyone: Shit now what the fuck do we ship
• AFTER MUCH BANTER
• Capt. Amuricur: What the fuck you're making nukes you nuke-makers
• Bruce Banner: I am slightly ticked off
• Iron Man: I think you should hulk out
• Capt. Amuricur: Shut up tony or I'll invade your personal space
• Iron Man: Not if I invade yours first
• Capt. Amuricur: I am gonna fight you so hard later
• Iron Man: You smell like justice
• Everyone: GAAAAAAAAAAAY
• Hawkeye: Still evil here
• EXPLOSIONS OCCUR
• Bruce Banner: It's not easy being green
• Loki: I am escaping from my cage now
• Thor: BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOhug oh shit
• Iron Man: Fixing things with science
• Capt. Amuricur: Assisting with ab-power
• Hawkeye: Fucking shit up with Arrows
• Agent Coulson: Hey I'm about to be badass I hope Loki doesn't take me from behind teehee oh shit
• Loki: I take people no other way
• Loki: Lates Onee-san
• Nick Fury: No Agent you can't die I don't know how to fill out paperwork
• Agent Coulson: Tell Captain America.... I wrote.... twilight fanfiction.... about us.... shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
• Nick Fury:
• Agent Coulson: iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
• Nick Fury:
• Agent Coulson: iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit
• Everyone: He was a good man. He was a good agent. And The Avengers couldn't have existed without his sacrifice.
• Everyone: Also GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY